For me, Emotional Intelligences starts and ends with 'Self-Awareness'. Firstly, because If you don't understand what's going on within yourself, what chance do you have of understanding or interacting well with others? And secondly, when you can get to grips with and accept your own thoughts, emotions & triggers, only then can you start learn the skill of 'Self Management' and how to manage your responses, behaviour & mindset. 

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The other challenge is build your 'Social Awareness' i.e. to understand how another person experiences the world, what their perspectives & experiences are i.e. what it's like to 'be in their shoes'. If you can learn to do that authentically and understand the environment in which they operate, then you can enhance your ability to show empathy. Being able to see the world from someone else's perspective is critical to building and managing relationships, inspiring & developing others, managing conflict & optimising collaboration & teamwork. 

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However, we are complex and unique human beings so all this is easier said than done! Something that I frequently come across with clients, is that their challenges originate from, or are related to, their emotional intelligence. Here are some sample experiences that can impact a person's ability to be successful, happy & fulfilled;

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• Certain people, behaviour or situations trigger your emotions  - but you don't understand why or how to best respond ​

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• People think you are confident - but on the inside, your self-belief is low and you frequently doubt yourself​​

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• You know how you feel & think - but you don't feel comfortable expressing yourself or communicating assertively​​​​

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• You get on with some people - but you find it hard to build & maintain relationships and tend to operate independently

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• Sometimes decisions making is easy - but other times you act too quickly, lose objectivity or allow your emotions to play a lead role 

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• Change is constant and challenges are plentiful - you find this stressful, your wellbeing suffers and your outlook can be bleak

 

• On paper, your life looks great and you 'should' be happy - but you don't feel happy and you wonder what's going on​